I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
