It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
