I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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