saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize