I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
