Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
