I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize