last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
