i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
