I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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