Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
