At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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