WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
