Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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