i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
