I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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