Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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