worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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