Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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