What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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