Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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