I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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