the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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