So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
