There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
