We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
