to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
