She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
