3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
