Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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