There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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