she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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