I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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