I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
