It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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