My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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