wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Found your dick twin last night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
