i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Randomize
