3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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