I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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