im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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