maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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