I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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