Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
People with herpes should wear stickers.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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