next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's blow job season.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
