All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
