franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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