it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
