i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
