Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
