I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
do nipples grow back?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
