So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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