I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
